Hello traveler! You have stumbled upon my blog! So what is this you ask? Essentially, it could be called many things, but I refer to it as a Senior Experiment/Experience/Project. I plan to document my entire senior year through blogs. Let's hope this works.
You know what's funny? When someone takes your idea, and passes it off as their own. It's like intellectual plagiarism. For example, I said something today, you know, just a nice little announcement to tell people something. As soon as I said that, the leader of our group thingy says basically the EXACT same thing. Of course, it was with more force, but still, it was my idea, and that person was usurping the power.
Now, power isn't always the greatest thing. I just read the Lord of the Flies, and that book is all about power being a bad thing, and the struggle for power. And I don't want to get into arguments with people over who has power. But when you blatantly take an idea that was someone else's, and you make it seem your own, when it's completely obvious who was the first to come up with the idea is just infuriating. I can't help but think some people need to be the biggest people in the room. It actually reminds me of a Machinima App commercial. Not the greatest commercial, but funny nonetheless. But back to my point, some people need to be the biggest people in the room, and therefore try to overshadow other's and their accomplishments as well.
We were having a leadership meeting in YIG and I was talking about how one of the bad leaders I knew tended to take all the credit for themselves, but also tried to dodge the blame once things went south. This is just sickening. One of the most important responsibilities of being a leader is being able to take responsibility, whether good or bad. But when it's good responsibility, share the wealth. If it's bad responsibility, take the blame. Sure, you might be sacked, but it's about gaining respect, and doing the right thing. If the only thing you can do is be an egotistical person, what good are you? People need to learn to be less selfish, and more unselfish. Look at politics. Everyone thinks they are right. And everyone else is wrong. See something wrong with this mindset? Our politicians can't even AGREE with each other anymore. We're so egotistical that bartering and walking over the aisle is like equal to getting the Black Plague. JUST SO MUCH RAGE!!!!!
Have you ever thought the reason you couldn't do something was because of lack of information? Or perhaps too much information? I feel that this is a huge problem. When someone doesn't give you information on a project, and expects you to do that project, the end product wouldn't be pretty.
One example of this in my life is college apps. I was hoping the school would put on a seminar, "How to do a college app," but they didn't. Now, my knowledge of the process is limited at best. I've been going along based on how the application looks, and am literally doing it by the seat of my pants. I've had productive talks with my deans, and I am making progress, but it seems like slower than others. I've been confused for most of this process, and I'm just hoping I don't screw up. I'm applying early, and if I mess up this application, what does that mean for the rest of my apps?
Of course, I don't want to be overloaded with large amounts of information. If that happened, I would be just as confused. Sites like College Confidential are get, but sometimes it's just TOO MUCH INFO. Your mind can't process all the information, and the multiple threads just make the entire site a bit more confusing.
So what do I want? I think if someone gave me a roadmap, and provided helpful information along the way would be sufficient. I think this is why I'm looking to my friends for help, since the administration hasn't provided much. But yeah, that's my rant.
Here's some culture. Learn Chinese. It's good for you.
Over-preparation. It sounds like a oxymoron. Can you really ever OVER prepare?
I think in some things, definitely. Take, for example, Science Olympiad.
This year, we're going digital with a lot of the planning. This was for efficiency purposes, and I think it will definitely have a positive impact in how our team is run. Yet, I do worry about this process. If we over prepare, collecting data to no end, and making sure that everything is ready 2 months before the actual competition, does that provide any good things in reality?
Yes, we are prepared for the season, but we also dehumanize the process. Instead of treating people like people, we treat them as numbers, just stats on a sheet. I think this happens a lot, regardless of where you are. People in a hurry will just overlook you as a small thing compared to "more important" jobs. It's like a teacher changing a grade of a student whose parents pester just enough so that's its an annoyance. The justification is that it's one grade, how will it truly impact the life of both the teacher and the student? Obviously, it's more than that, but I digress.
So, the problem with over preparing is that over preparing is the problem. Funny how that works.
Ever feel like you let someone down? Well, I completely felt that feeling last week. I realize I don't exactly have a ton of people who read this, but for some reason, I felt a bit guilty writing only two posts last week.
Missing in Action. It's the worst phrase ever, and not because it's badly worded. It's a depressing thing, to say someone is Missing in Action. It means the person you speak of is probably dead, or if he/she isn't dead, is facing really bad stuff. Of course, last week, me MIA wasn't because I was dead or facing really bad stuff. I just simply had a terrible cold. Yet, I feel I was missing OUT on the action, which is essentially communicating to you about my life. You could probably surmise that I was out with something.
Well, a new week begins, and already it seems like the middle of the week. Last week was horrible, because I was just so sick on my school's newspaper's print night, staying at school until 10 PM, and that probably led to more of me being sick, but this week, I feel like it's already Wednesday. Seriously, what is wrong with my circadian rhythms.
So, in honor of my returning from sickness, I'm going to post a video. FreddieW is hilarious, because he makes a lot of video game references. His most recent one was pretty funny.
Oh, and I'm thinking about posting about HC tomorrow. Comment below or +1 this if you agree.
You know another thing I hate about being sick? When I'm congested, my sinuses plug up, and my hearing decreases by about 50%. Seriously, I'm not kidding.
You know how you can usually hear others when you yourself are talking? Well, I can only hear myself, I can barely hear them. And normal conversations, I know I'm already pretty hard of hearing, but when you can't hear, it's even worse.
One good thing about having a cold is being able to drink chrysanthemum tea and 999 (which is tasty Chinese medicine..I know, it seems like an oxymoron). Add a bit of honey, and you're set.
But being sick really drains your energy. I think yesterday I wanted to sleep the entire day. Usually, I get over that by 3rd period. I did sleep a bit in 1st period, which is an open hour, and read all 2nd period. But I was dead tired by the time Problem Solving came along. Today, not so bad. I was able to stay awake, for most of the day, but by the end, I felt like I needed an energy shot aka 90 minute nap. Those work wonders.
So yeah, I'm still sick, but I'm chugging through.
So, for today's stereotypical nerd post, I'm going to talk about math.
I don't really know what to say here. This topic came about today, because I had successfully programmed a change of base program into my calculator, and then during Physics, absolutely struck out on solving a pretty easy (in hindsight) problem. Sometimes in math, you succeed, and others times, you just crash and burn. I find in fascinating how the "little" things are the stuff that screw you up the most in problem solving. One simple "oh..that's minutes, not seconds" can just provide enough facepalms for a lifetime. And sometimes, that one small thing is the epiphany and leads to you save the world (I wish.).
For example, in my change of base program, there's a lot of logic required, and being able to run through every step of the program in your head can be very infuriating, and confusing at times. I, for some reason, just can't program while, for, and loops in my calculator, so I'm constantly using Goto loops and If then statements. That complicates things a bit, but it does provide me with some fun logic problems.
Overall, I guess what I've learned from doing math, is that, it's a process. It's not something you can figure out in a second, or in a lifetime. It's about having the problem in your subconscious, and methodically hitting that problem with different angles, until the epiphany occurs. And when that happens, math becomes absolutely beautiful and magical.
I don't really feel like posting a video today, so just look up a random Nigahiga video, and call it a day.
Due to lack of thought process today, I present...Gaming.
Now, I wouldn't consider myself a gaming fanboy. Sure, I follow the industry from time to time, I watch MLG occasionally and I'm subscribed on YouTube to several gamers, such as Chris Smoove, and Seananners. I try to know what's the next big thing, and usually read up on magazines. (My favorite is PC Gamer.) But I'm not an uber-fanboy. I don't have an account on the Team Liquid forums, I rarely check Gamespot anymore, and if I do watch gameplay, I do it for the commentaries, not for the actual gameplay.
Which brings me to my ultimate point: gamers aren't stupid.
Let's take one of my favorite YouTubers, Seananners. Be advised, many of these YouTubers do talk about subjects that I don't endorse or agree with. But Seananners is one of my favorite YouTubers because his whole life isn't gaming. Yes, he works for a gaming-based company, Machinima, and he does stream for hours, but he is not an addicted gamer. I like Seananners, because he's a very life-oriented type of person. He's a connoisseur of fine wine, he LOVES to cook, and he likes art. The people at Machinima call him a modern-day Renaissance Man. I watch Seananners, because I love his outlook on life. He's such a chill person, and I enjoy listening to his commentaries on cooking, gaming, and life in general. While I may not agree with everything he says, he does give me a broader picture of life.
I guess it would be appropriate to put a video of Seananners, but honestly, I really don't want to post a commentary of his on here, for the sake of people's boredom. SO....
DCHOI!
Love this song. And DCHOI! And WFP! Who are actually making a video for the Taiwanese pop star, LeeHom.
Hey, if you could, please write your name in the comments. I'd like to know who's speaking, and "Anonymous" doesn't really give me a good description of who you are. Of course, if you would like to remain "Anonymous" that's ok too. I just want to get a grasp of who's reading my stuff, and commenting on it.
Today, my friends and I had some pretty interesting discussion on free will, and I've been thinking about that for the past few hours. What is the meaning of free will, and can people truly have it?
When you think of free will, you imagine a person who can make whatever choices they want. They are independent, and are responsible for what goes on in their own life. Their "will" is completely unconstrained, and through that, their other aspects, like their mind, is also "free." The problem with this conception of free will is that every single little thought they have would have to be original, without any outside influence, much like what I described in my Worldview post. This, of course, is impossible. There is absolutely no way that one person could have only completely original thoughts. Even a person in isolation is impacted by the things around them, or things remembered from a bygone time. In fact, this definition of free will is a bit scary. You essentially aren't allowed to have friends, or contact with anyone. From the time you are born to your death, you would have to be in complete isolation, and even though, you could be impacted by the outside world.
So therefore, free will is really impossible. Whatever you do, is somewhat influenced by someone or something. It's impossible to prevent that. You may have some semblance of control over your life, and your own decisions, but the decisions you make are based on influences around you. Your environment constrains your will; you are only partially free.
This is where my faith comes in.
God gives everyone "free will" from the beginning. This "free will" allows a person to decide for themselves what choices they make. It does not mean that their every thought is original or that they are not influenced. People are simply able to make choices. Now, this "free will" is still very easily influenced. Men are weak; there is no doubt about this. It only takes one phrase to drastically change our minds. In fact, our "free will" isn't really free at all. You see, if you're not with God, you're "in the world," and essentially, your "free will" is being controlled by the Enemy. You may think you have free will, but that's only because the Enemy is giving you that illusion of control, of power.
But you're probably thinking, "Well, ok, what if I want my free will. Does that mean I go with God?" No. In my understanding, God gives us free will to choose between Him and the world. But that's as far as your free will can go. If you choose the world, your "free will" will be heavily influenced by the world. You may think you have "free will" but you don't.
Under God, you still have free will. You can choose to do God's Will or not, it's completely your decision. But, if you are truly in Christ, your will becomes God's Will. Your desire for free will is decreased, because soon, it's not you who is living, but rather God living through you.
I'm sorry if that's not what you were expecting from this post, but I think talking about this definitely helps myself. I'm able to reflect, and grow even more from these experiences. Now, just a fair warning. I don't know if my description of free will is completely "accurate", but it's what in my heart, and what I wanted to share.
Now for a YouTube video. This is an absolute classic, and I love this song. It's by my favorite band, Casting Crowns.
I hope this song encourages you as much as it encourages me.
Right now in our Psych through Lit class, we're doing an assignment called the "Worldview Journal," where we explain our worldview, and attempt to justify it. Now, I don't know if it's just me, but I've always come under the impression that people expect your worldview to be "you", like your worldview is completely of your own thought and no outside influences have changed it.
Even if that isn't the correct definition, some people do feel that all your thoughts must be independently generated, and that somehow, outside influences taint your thinking process. Seriously, what's wrong with following your parents, or friends if what they are doing is justifiable in your head. It's not "brainwashing." As far as I'm concerned, my parents have generally allowed me to be pretty independent. Do they try to influence me? Yes, of course. As parents, it's a part of their job. But me being independent doesn't mean I don't listen to a word they say. In fact, most of the times I do, and I agree with them. My thoughts of right and wrong, life, and my environment have all been shaped by my parents, and I turn try to impart my own influences on people around me. Essentially, my worldview is my parents' worldview, and I find nothing wrong with that.
Some people feel that if you're anything like your parents, you were obviously brainwashed at an early age. I don't know if this is something I'm imagining this, but it seems like that in some situations. And the phrase "peer pressure" always has negative connotations. There is POSITIVE peer pressure. Telling your friends not to drink. Forcing your friends to do homework. These are examples of positive peer pressure, but no one every thinks of these. Peer pressure comes with the idea that your friends are influencing you to do something bad, and that's just not how it works. Our society looks down on peer pressure, because everyone is expected to be independent, and have their own moral compass, no matter how skewed it is. Sometimes, being under the influence of another is a good thing. For example, take apprentices. For years, they are under the "influence" of a craftsmaster, who imparts with them skills, and traits that hopefully the apprentice will take on. Now, the apprentice is free to disregard these lessons, or he can accept these influences, and apply them to his own life. Is that such a bad thing? I don't think so.
New YOUTUBE video. This song is just so awesome.
I hope these blogs are just as entertaining for you to read as they are for me to write.
Every had that experience when nothing is going right? And then all of a sudden, it just works. Well, life is nothing like that. It definitely seems like that, but most of the time, it's a result of a buildup of progress, which of course, in the hustle and bustle you don't notice AT ALL. Sometimes, we're so hyped up about the big picture that we fail to even care about the small things, the things that make it work. For example, take a football play. It's a Hail Mary pass, and the quarterback makes a magical throw to a wide receiver who enters the end zone with no one in sight. Sure, you might think that the quarterback was just amazing, and the wide receiver turned on his jets right after catching the ball. But what you didn't see was the amazing pass protection by the left tackle, the key block by the running back on the trailing safety, and that the tight end had set a perfect screen on the linebacker about to the tip the pass. In the life, it's always about the small things. Magic doesn't happen. Even with chemical reactions, which may seem instantaneous, have to go through steps.
Why am I referencing this? Well, a combination of things. Today, I was working with Viewer, and it seemed like everything was chaotic. Stories weren't turned in, and editors were confused where their writers were. But, it seemed like in a second, everything was quiet. We had a majority of stories, and editors were busy editing. Now, this didn't happen in a second. No one waved their magic wand, and all of a sudden everything was in order. What involved was writers seeking out editors for help, editors looking for writers, and a gradual decrease from chaos to order. WE DEFEATED ENTROPY!! (All you chem people should be laughing now.)
Another thing that's making me write this is the fact that I'm listening to Taylor Swift, because I have nothing else better to stream on Spotify. Seriously, if you have suggestions, please comment. I'm getting bored. But, back to topic, with her songs, it's very sudden, and instantaneous. Sure, there is some buildup in her song content, but from what I'm listening, the buildup is almost nonexistent, and then all of sudden, we have a climax. While we would like to imagine that life is like that, unfortunately, it is nowhere near to that. Sorry, if I destroyed a few dreams back there.
Again, comments are welcome.
Now for your YouTube awesomeness for the day.
She is awesome. I don't care much for Sam's voice, but Christina's is what makes this song amazing.
Something that's irritating to a lot of people is the lack of control, the in ability to have things your way. It's perfectly understandable; we like power, and so we like to be in control of whatever situation we're in.
But like I described in my previous post, sometimes, that limited perspective really opens up more opportunities to participate in certain situations. By not being in control, it allows oneself to not be caught up in making every comments, or doing every action, but rather responding to others, and contributing, rather than controlling. It amazing how many interesting ideas you can come up with while listening to others. I'm not saying having control is bad; sometimes you need to be a leader. But there are certain situations in which you just need to relax, and let others take the reins. It's kind of like what we're discussing in my Psych through Lit class; narcissism is when you think the world revolves around you. That the danger of being in control. You completely disregard others and in that way, slowly destroy the relationships around you.
Of course, it's hard to lose control. You have to be able to lose control for something you deeply care about. For example, one thing I learned while at a Summer Youth Conference was a bondservant is willing to lose control, and become bonded to his master, because he loves the master. Likewise, we can voluntarily lose control of maybe a school project, because we understand that the project will do a lot better if not under our control. And with this control, I'm not talking about being aloof, and not caring about it, but rather, not maintaining a dictatorship over the progress of the project. In this way, the project would flourish, because suddenly, there is a new flux of ideas coming in from other sources, other than yourself.
Well, nothing really awesome happened in school today.
Actually, I did help a friend with a HC proposal. I think one of the things I've learned over the years, is how funny it is to be a third person. To not be directly involved, and yet be directly involved, sort of like a third-person omniscient type of writing POV. To me, it's enjoyable to see both sides of a story, to be able to relate to both sides, and understand the weaknesses and strengths of both sides. Not to be mean or anything, but it's always an interesting thing to hear about what other people think about other people, and to really understand the underlying tension and relationships between two parties. I guess that's one downfall of a third-person omniscient POV. Thankfully, it's a limited third-person omniscient POV.
Well, seeing as I'm not even really writing about the topic, I guess I'll start now.
Music is one thing I think everyone can bond around. I think that's really how I bond with some of my friends, through music. I have a friend who constantly is introducing to me new music. Before I launch into a story, I'll describe my music tastes. I'm really all over the board; I listen to Christian contemporary, Top 40, some techno/dubstep, and classical. To me, listening to Casting Crowns, my favorite band, is easily as enjoyable as listening to say, Taylor Swift. I think my musical tastes are really shaped by this one friend, who basically introduced me to everything beyond Christian contemporary. Before, I used to only listen to Christian contemporary. I lived off Casting Crowns, the Newsboys, and other great artists and bands that I still listen too. Then, I was given a taste of Tobymac, who was simply amazing. I really only liked one song that had some rap elements before (Matthew West's Next Thing you Know), but Tobymac was completely different. Simply said, he was amazing. Songs like Jesus Freak and Burn for You to me were just so awesome. Before, the Christian radio station I listened to you had this "Alternative Christian Music" hour at around midnight at 12, and occasionally, I would listen, but really wouldn't get into it. But after listening to some TobyMac songs, and some of the songs from WOW CD's, I really started to appreciate the stuff from the hip-hop Christian scene.
Then came Eminem. Talk about a culture shock. At that point in my music walk, I was listening to Christian contemporary, and Radio Disney. Radio Disney was funny, because having sisters forces you to enjoy their tastes. So I was always listening to the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana and High School Musical songs. But Eminem was just completely different. Listening to a person who has the capacity to swear in every single line, and yet bring out a message that truly can be inspiring was just...an experience. Do I like Eminem? Yes, he's fantastic. Do I agree with everything he says or does? Of course not. I would appreciate it if he stopped swearing, but I guess that's who he is.
I know this is getting long, but bear with me.
Now, my next step was into electronica/techno/dubstep. At first, I thought dubstep was ANNOYING. Seriously, the bass and all that stuff was just...bleh. But after listening to some dubstep that had really good melodies, I learned to take the good with the bad, and just enjoy the talent. Now, I'm listening to Avicii, some Skrillex, and a LOT of remixes of Top 40. I don't necessarily seek out this music, but when it comes to me, I'll listen to it.
With that said, I continue my YouTube video streak by offering one of the greatest songs I have heard in the last few months, also courtesy of my friend.
Oh, and if you could, please answer the poll on the side. It's just something I was thinking about, and my friends were discussing.
As you can probably already tell, this post will be about football.
I AM EXCITED! Why? Well, many reasons. First and foremost, Aaron Rodgers is my starting quarterback on my fantasy team, which at least guarantees me a lead for 2 days in my matchup. Second, my beloved, yet much maligned, new-look Vikings are sure to provide for some interesting football this season. After all the drama we've been through, it's nice to have some stability for the incoming season. Finally, Peyton Manning. As much as I would like to laugh at the people who drafted him, that would be mean. But, I will reference that he is not out of the season. Hopefully he'll come back in time to help the Colts.
On that note, I leave you with an amazing song.
Also, I know this comment will come back to haunt me later, but I wish I had some homework to do. I'm getting bored quick. Thank goodness for Problem Solving class.
The word "end" usually has a bad connotation, like death. The "end' signifies a sort of finality, like there's no more to look forward to. But, is the end truly all that bad? For example, the end of high school signifies (hopefully) a new step, like a maturation process. You're an adult now. Sure, that comes with some pretty scary thoughts, but it is bad? An end, in a sense, allows us to "start over." Of course, the end of high school also signifies the end of childhood, and all the fun things that come with it.
The fact that this is the "beginning of the end" is slightly ominous. We are beginning to get closer to the end, and that thought that every single day is bringing us even closer to an end, that maybe we're looking forward to. Yet, the word "beginning" also lends a good connotation, like turning over a new leaf. The beginning of the school year, to me, signifies a new Science Olympiad season, for example. That definitely something to be happy about.
The the beginning of the end produces really mixed feelings. On one hand, you're happy, because it's a new year and all that. But on the other, you're sad, because it's the last year.
Well, today marked the end of the first day of school--for the freshmen, that is. Now, I participate as a mentor for the freshmen, and one thing I find just a slight bit irritating is when you ask someone to participate, and they don't. Now, I've definitely been on the other side of this equation; I am completely at fault. Yet, the problem is as a senior, I feel that I have to give some helpful advice to the freshmen, some words that will completely change their lives forever. Now, I know that's not possible, but it would be nice to know that someone is at least attempting to listen to what you have to say. Do I feel that I failed as a mentor? Slightly, because I don't think my message was getting across. But, on the other hand, I don't feel that I'm entirely at fault, simply because I understand what's going on the other side, having been there myself.
But let's be honest. It is the first day of school, and the only thing a kid can think about is when school is over. It's an age old rule. Yet, if they gave us just a minuscule amount of time, a minute perhaps, I think my fellow mentors and I could impart just one wise sentence. Just one. I know it's a dream scenario, that one sentence can change a person's life, but it's nice to imagine, and sometimes, you just need to imagine, to reach reality.
So what did I learn today? I guess, it's important to listen, because you just might hear the next greatest thing.
