Hello traveler! You have stumbled upon my blog! So what is this you ask? Essentially, it could be called many things, but I refer to it as a Senior Experiment/Experience/Project. I plan to document my entire senior year through blogs. Let's hope this works.
It's definitely been a while since I wrote on here. I've been going through some interesting times, and been busy. I got a Twitter recently, and didn't realize how fun it could be. Getting news this quickly is something.
I don't really have much to say, besides Happy New Year!
And that Science Olympiad rocks.
I'll leave you with a video, some old school SUJU. Good stuff.
So, I'm not actually supposed to be writing this. I'm working in journalism class, and trying to edit stories, but I needed to post this.
Two weeks ago, I finished my University of Texas app. I was set to turn it in; being a Longhorn would be awesome, if accepted, seeing as they have one of the best engineering schools in the nation. Being a complete idiot, I didn't start working on my scholarship app, until Nov. 30. So, I held off on turning in my app.
Come Dec. 1, I was set to turn it in. I finished my scholarship essays. I had everything set, and was ready to have the final go over with my parents. I had a quiz bowl meet that night, but I thought I would have enough time to submit the app. I left my house at 4, planning to come back around 9:30 to submit. Plenty of time right? Wrong.
I came back at 10:40. And literally fell asleep after doing my Micro work. So, I wake up at 12:10. And, I'm like, "Crap."
So I didn't hand in the app. And I was really really mad at myself. Here I was, wide awake at midnight with the biggest feeling of regret. How terrible is that? And the sad part was, I had no one to blame buy myself.
Having nothing else to do, I just read my Bible. I came across Daniel 9, which was Daniel's prayer. He talked about how Israel had turned away, and basically have everything in their lives turned upside down. Which basically had happened in my life. Too much homework, and other stuff distracted me from the life I should have been living. But that's my little experience.
Things learned:
1. Don't turn away. It's basically the worst thing that can happen.
2. Don't wait till the last minute. The second worst thing that can happen.
3. God lets us do stupid stuff, because He knows we'll come back to Him.
So, this past week, how hard has it been to live without Facebook?
Very hard, yet very easy.
Without Facebook, I'm very disconnected from my school and my friends. I didn't know what was going on in our math team forum, or what my friends had been talking about. I actually logged on for about 3 seconds to check the name of a source for a story I was writing, and saw that I had 20 notifications. Did I check them? No. But it did interest me that there were 20 things, of which, maybe 4 or 5 were somewhat valuable.
But it was also very easy. Not having to click back to Facebook every 5 minutes to check something new was a nice change. I didn't have to worry too much. And I was able to busy myself with other things (such as MW3 and AC:R walkthroughs. Greatest movies ever!) Will I not use Facebook from now on? No. But will I check it less? Yes.
And that, I think is the best experience.
For all my nerd friends out there. This song is so hilarious. I remember listening to it the first time when it first came out, and having a huge smile on my face.
Speaking of which, I can't believe I missed MLG Providence. ARGH.
I'm not doing a complete Digital Detox, which should be obvious due to the fact that I'm writing this right now. I'm only going on a Facebook Detox, which by itself, is still a pretty interesting task.
So, what did I think about my first day without Facebook? It was weird. I feel so disconnected from everyone. I can't go online and talk to friends about something I want to clarify. I don't know if something weird happened at school today (especially because I wasn't there). I can't go online and just read up on what people are saying on the groups I'm a part.
It just shows how connected we are to one website. One example is this. I'm currently compiling a list of nicknames for our math team shirt. In order to do this, I created a Google Docs link and posted it on our math team forum. Then I told people to post the same link on Facebook, since I couldn't by myself. Then, people started asking questions on FB, and of course, I couldn't respond to them, mainly because I never knew they existed. Then, my friend had to relay those questions to me, so I could respond to them, and then I relayed the answers back to the puzzled few.
Also, today I was at the NHSPA Convention for an Online Bootcamp workshop. Now, normally when I'm taking notes with my laptop, I usually have a few links open: Gmail, Facebook, CNN, GDocs, etc. This time, without Facebook, even though it was during school hours, I felt different. There was no constant checking to see if one of the things I "liked" had an update of any sorts. Also, because everyone around me was on Facebook, it was hard to not think of logging on.
Finally, today, after coming home, I started working on my homework. Now, I don't have ADD (at least I don't think so) but I tend to like clicking through links every 15 minutes or so, just to get my mind off homework and see what's going on in the world. I look through email, CNN, sports, and usually Facebook. This goes back to my first point, where I felt disconnected. I knew about everything in the world, except for what happened at my own school. That feeling of disconnection really was surprising. I knew initially that I wouldn't be able to know a lot about what my friends were doing, but now, it finally hit me how much information I glean from Facebook.
Is it a good thing? To have all the information you need on Facebook? I don't know. In one way, it's definitely convenient to have everything in one place. On the other hand, it's bad because you are basically disconnected from knowing about your friends and the society around you. Only six more days to go.
This video, I would appreciate if you didn't watch, and instead just listen. This is a clear example of a song that I have mixed feelings about. It starts out great, and has some great parts in the middle, but all the other parts just ruin the song. I like how it starts with a great vocal, but then abruptly descends into a dance type of song. Also, don't watch the video because it makes absolutely NO SENSE. It's just horrible. I can't even begin to describe how horrible the music video is.
Well, it's back. And it's coming with teeth. And a chainsaw. Such a weird combo of metaphors.
Actually, this relates to my Psych Thru Lit class, which surprisingly is becoming one of my favorite classes. It's awesome how it's a multidisciplinary class, but still keeps me awake (seeing as I'm not really into English or Psych.) But, today, we talked about the "Slow" Movement, which emphasizes that our world is too fast. We want instant gratification and all that stuff. Read my older post for more enlightenment.
But basically, our teacher is offering us EC for taking part in a Digital Detox, where we give up something.
I'm planning to give up FB, but am planning to document this experience on my blog. (IRONY).
So maybe it's not a complete Detox, but I think getting rid of the most important social network in my life will definitely be interesting. Yeah, I'll still be connected through email, this blog, and (gulp) Moodle, but I think just getting rid of FB by itself will definitely be an experience to think (and write) about. Maybe I should try writing a novel in the free time I have. After all, it's NaNoWriMo, something I've always wanted to do. Or maybe I'll read the first three books in the Eragon series again. Need something to do before I read Inheritance, right?
Anyway, I just thought I'd put this as a heads up.
This kid is amazing. Not to mention, he has a boss instrument. The song is decent too. WHY SO MUCH KPOP??
If you remember yesterday's post, I posted a song called "Ugly" by 2NE1, which was covered by Megan Lee.
That song got me thinking about us, as people, and how we tend to fixate on the things that make us inadequate. We always have phrases like, "I wish I could be more talented in XYZ" or "Wow, I wish I was like XYZ." I know for certain that I have had this mindset before.
We always want to be better. We have dreams and goals that we want to attain. But why? Why such a fixation on becoming "the best"? Can't we as people accept ourselves for who we are? We do we have to go all this "junk" in order to become the best? In school, for example, people work themselves to death to get good grades. Why? So they can be "the smartest." In sports, people overwork themselves to the point that when they reach their max, they collapse. They can't function anymore. In music, artists have to get throat surgery, because they practice too much. Why do we always push ourselves past the limit, in order to become better?
Now, I'm not railing against dreams. Dreams are what make us push forward, and help us become better people. But there has to be a point when dreams turn into rabid mindsets. That can't happen. As a Christian, I need to accept the fact that God made me this way. Does that mean I don't try to be a better student? No, of course not. Does this mean I don't try to break 6 minutes for the mile (which mind you is still a pretty pathetic time)? No. But it means that I don't need to overwork myself for such a meaningless goal of "smartest student."
That being said, let me tell you my dreams.
Dream 1: I want to be a better singer.
Why? Well, it's actually related to my fear of appearing in public. I HATE public speaking. That doesn't mean I won't do it, but it's an experience that always brings my anxiety level up to 11. I've spoken at the YIG closing convention. THAT was scary. Talking to 1700 people at once is something that you can't really know until you've tried. But, that experience was just as scary as talking to my AP Lang class of 20 people. My knees were shaking, and I tried to mask my nervousness by talking softly, moving around, and occasionally talking loudly to get rid of my jitters. I think my talking softly actually helped the speech, surprisingly, because it became a lot more emotional for me.
So how does public speaking relate? Well, I can't sing in public. I can sing in a group at church, or when having fun with friends. (You've never sung Phantom of the Opera until you've sung it while dissecting a pig.) But, when I sing solo, I simply can't. My voice cracks, and I just can't get the words out. Funny story, when I recorded a podcast with my friend, and we were supposed to be singing a song, I couldn't sing it well, because he was in the room with me. I get very self-conscious about myself when singing, and because of that, I couldn't sing with one person in the room--despite the fact that this podcast was going out to the whole world!
So yeah, that's dream number 1.
Dream 2: Being perfect.
Now, this is going to be borderline satirical but bear with me.
I do a lot of activities. Piano, Math Team, Science Olympiad, Quiz Bowl, etc. In all of these activities, there is one similarity: the possibility of mistake. In piano, I hate practicing, because that's when I find my mistakes. In Math Team, I get super nervous during competition, because I think I'm going to make a mistake. I sweat A LOT during Science Olympiad events, because I'm always nervous I'm going to screw up. In Quiz Bowl, I sometimes won't press the buzzer because I'm afraid of being wrong.
I want to be perfect, so I don't have to go through that. And of course, that's an impossible dream.
Perfection is really a dumb thing. No person in our society is perfect. It's just not going to happen. You try all you want. LeBron James still misses shots. Obama still messes up on some speeches. Teachers make mistakes all the time.
Basically, in my opinion, being perfect means being able to accept who you are, faults and all. It's about knowing that, despite your mistakes, you're doing the best you can. If you have never heard P!nk's song "Perfect", you should. Although try to find the clean version.
So that's all I wanted to say. Actually, one more thing. Back to the topic of smart people. I was talking to my friend today about a math competition we had. He remarked how cool it would be to meet all the people ranked above us, but I adamantly said no. My reason? I would feel inadequate next to them. And seriously, who wouldn't? When you meet a guy who's IQ is probably 2x yours, who wouldn't feel slightly dissatisfied with their own self?
Something to think about.
Now, for a video, I'm going back to Jimmy Wong. Who is a boss. And this song is great. You should also listen to the club mix. It's great too.
Not to mention an amazing movie. You know what? That's dream number 3. Make amazing movies.
Disclaimer: I don't actually own MW3 or SC2. I just choose to comment on it, by watching the Machinima LiveStream. Which is awesome. Although WAY too much swearing.
There's a company I extremely dislike right now. Its name is ActivisionBlizzard. Why do you ask? Well because, ActiBlizz is in it for the money. Now, I know all businesses are in it for the money, but ActiBlizz is IN IT FOR THE MONEY.
Exhibit A: Please examine Modern Warfare 2. Great game, IMHO. I loved it, and still play it occasionally. Black Ops comes one year after, and sets the bar even higher. I really liked that it was different that MW2, and yet also different than the previous Treyarch title, World at War. Being able to unlock what gun you wanted based on in-game money, rather than levels was genius. One year after (two after MW2 if you're wondering) comes Modern Warfare 3. Now, I haven't seen any of the campaign yet, but right now, looking at the multiplayer, it's basically looks like DLC. The font is the same, the little icons are the same. Sure, there's some gameplay changes. Pointstreaks are a genius idea, and I think not having the nuke (or MOAB) end the game is also very smart. But I don't appreciate the fact that MW3 looks and probably feels exactly like MW2. Nothing has changed in multiplayer (although I would be excited to look at the new horde mode). The guns may look different, the maps may be different, the perks may be a bit different, but essentially, MW3 is DLC. It's not a new game. And it's definitely not worth the $60 people are paying for it.
Exhibit B: COD Elite. $50. It's not a game. 'Nuff said.
Exhibit C: Starcraft II. Oh my goodness. Now, this is definitely a object of contention for me. In case you haven't heard, Starcraft II is split into 3 games: Wings of Liberty (which focuses on the Terran campaign), Heart of the Swarm (which focuses on the Zerg campaign) and Legacy of the Void (which focuses on the Protoss campaign). Now, each of these games will be sold for $50-$60 depending where you buy them. Also, only WoL is out. HotS is planned to be out in April next year, and who knows when LotV is coming out. I mean it's Blizzard. They took 13 years after SC1 to bring out SC2. This is where I'm mad. If I bought all the games (which I'm probably not going to) it would cost me minimum $200. What do I get? 3 (deep) campaigns, and 1 multiplayer experience. Now, in my head, HotS and LotV are considered expansion packs. All I'm really getting from those two games are two new campaigns. I'm not getting a new multiplayer experience. So, in reality, they should be priced at $30 at most, because I'm not getting two modes, I'm only getting one.
This is what makes me mad about the game industry. They claim they would take a loss if they sold games less than $50. Really? Then please explain the Madden and 2K war, when prices dipped down to $20. As far as I can tell, neither company lost money. The only reasons prices are higher now, are because EA has an exclusive contract, so basically it can sell at whatever price it wants. Game makers should be willing to let US, the consumer, at least not bear such a difficult burden. Do we get a lot of utility? Depends. I certainly haven't from Supreme Commander 2 and Empire: Total War. (I should probably play those more often, but they just aren't that fun right now.) Did I get utility from MW2? Yes. But I still think that $60 is way to much for a video game.
Edit: I almost forgot! Youtube video time!
Read Megan's translation of the lyrics in the description. I think we face these types of feelings all the times, maybe it's not beauty, but it could also be smarts, musical talents, etc. Bottom line: this song makes you think.
Also, I wish I had talent like Megan. (IRONY.) She is such an amazing singer.
One thing I really hate about technology is loading times. Right now, I'm converting an .avi file to mp4...and the thing is going to take half an hour. So I'm actually typing this to pass the time. I guess it could be worse.
I know things aren't instant. If they were, what would be the point of life? We would just go through things and have them immediately resolve themselves, and go onto the next thing. Being able to wait is a good thing.
I was talking to my mom earlier this week, and we were talking about having "quiet time," something that I definitely don't have enough of. I don't think it's because I don't have time, but maybe because I feel I need to be doing something all the time. It's kinda like my APM in life has to always be at the max. (All you SC2/RTS nerds should be laughing about....now.)
And it's funny, because I'm writing this on the night of Daylight Savings Off day (or is it on?). Basically, we'll get an extra hour to sleep tonight. In theory. So, if we had that extra hour, what would we do with it? How would we use it, and would it be considered useful? For me, I'm not too sure.
I just won an assassination game on Scioly.org that took almost two months to finish. I can't believe I stayed with it that long, and by the end you could tell I just wasn't in it. Instead of posting on time, I usually waited 12 hours or another day longer to post. I was just getting so tired that I couldn't focus.
A good example of this is this past week, I've been watching the Uncharted 3 Walkthroughs on YouTube. Now, it's not because I'm going to buy the game, and want to see how to beat it, but rather I like watching gameplay. Also, Uncharted has a great storyline, so I'm basically watching a 5 hour long movie. Now, usually, I would go on Wikipedia and read the synopsis of the plot, just so I'm not too confused when I watch. I attribute this to impatience; I don't want to be surprised by plot twists. But this time, I didn't, because I wanted to be surprised. It was definitely confusing at some points, but it turned out to be a rewarding experience.
So that's about it, I guess.
Speaking about patience, let's get the NBA lockout solved already. While I don't really care about the NBA right now (it's hard to when your home team is absolutely terrible), it would be nice to have something to read about on the sports pages.
I was thinking up K-pop related puns today. Some of these may be borrowed from others, but hey, they are still funny.
I'm listening to f(x) while doing math.
I'm studying physics while listening to BIGBANG. (the only thing even more ironic would be if BBT was on TV.)
I'm eating lamb while listening to "Bo Peep Bo Peep." (Ok, that's just bad taste. :D)
I'm watching Peter Pan, while listening to "Neverland." (That's actually a really bad one.)
I was evicted from my apartment, while listening to "Get Out" by JYJ.
I was listening to 4minute when I ran my mile. (What up!!!)
And that's it. I'm really bored, aren't I?
Honestly, this song reminds me of American music. Like "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha. I do like Tiffany's version more than Krystal's original version. But, I'll take both anyday.
So, I'm just really, really, really, really, really, really, pumped right now. Our team just PWNED SOME NOOBZ.
Ok, it wasn't a ownage. But, it was just AMAAAAZING. Basically, the game was a defensive battle, I think. And filled with penalties and just awesome 4th down stands. Not much in HUGE plays, but there were a few. So, to recap, we scored first, 7-0. Then, they came back with two touchdowns, missing both PATs. 12-7. And that's the score into the half.
Out of the half, pretty tight battle. No one is really scoring. 4th quarter, we score a touchdown. Miss the 2 point conversion. 13-12. Now, everyone is super pumped. Talk of "Season's over" chants and what not. Of course, way to preliminary, but we're too hyped to think about it. We didn't do it of course.
4 minutes left. They score a touchdown. And, we're just holding our heads. Cringing. ugh.
So, we take the ball. Throw a nice 20 yard gain through the air. Then, one guy gets a penalty after the play, sets us back, I think, 15 yards. We're pissed.
2 plays afterward, throw a pick. 2 minutes left on the clock. And we're like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Basically, we think the season is over.
So, we regroup. After all, with enough timeouts, we can stop them right?
So, they run the ball. I think it's now 2nd down and 2. False start. YES!!!
2nd and 7. Run the ball. Crap. 3rd and 2. False Start. YES!!!!
After another failed attempt, they punt, and we're down at around the 20 yard line. Then, just an AMAZING drive starts. Pass. Completion and goes out of bounds. Nice. Pass. Completion and goes out of bounds. Nice. QB get harassed on the next play, throws an incomplete. Just what we need.
THE NEXT PLAY: QB throws a bullet down the field about 20-30 yards. BOUNCES of the intended receiver, and basically becomes a jump ball. Essentially, hope is lost. Then, out of NOWHERE, another guy from our team leaps, and snatches it at the 5 yard line. We're screaming and yelling, and going basically INSANE.
QB spikes it. 6 seconds left. This is what movies are made of. First attempt five yards out. RB dives for a throw, but it's too far. We groan. Now we're crowding the front right part of the bleachers. I'm shaking. Everyone is just super loud, and we're going CRAZY. 3.5 seconds. Hike. QB throws a lob in to the back left corner. WR jumps. Catches it. In bounds. TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I'm usually a reserved person, but I just went CRAZY. INSANE. JUMPING AROUND AND SLAPPING PEOPLE ON THE BACK AND JUST GOING NUTS. Just yelling my lungs out. And then, we try charging the field, but they wouldn't let us. Oh well. Would have been amazing.
So now, I'm just writing down all my excitement from this game. I was soo nervous. I was shaking, and jumping around. My friend described it perfectly, "I think I had a heart attack." Me too. I was just going CRAZY.
So yeah. That's my spiel. Come Monday, I'll probably just be normal me again. But I'm am SOOO glad I went to this game. First game in two years. And it was epic. So glad. Just so glad.
Hopefully we make it to state. Then I might have a chance to watch them again. But just AMAZEING. This is something I definitely won't forget.
Bernard Berrian was released!!!!! And thus begins another era-oh wait, what's that? There was never a Bernard Berrian era? But wasn't he like the most amazing wide receiver in the pas-what's that? Percy Harvin? Oh, apologies.
And our cornerback isn't terrible, but it's pretty good because we have Antoine, Chris Cook, Cedric Grif-sorry, speak up. What's that? Antoine's out and Cook is suspended? Oh.
So what am I trying to communicate here? Essentially, our wide receiver corps did not change at all. B-twice was a non-factor for the entire season. And, the guys on the other side are short two of the better cornerbacks in the secondary. Which means we have..Cedric, Asher, Marcus, and...someone else. I hope Sherels does have a chance to shine though. He definitely deserves it.
And that's my attempt at sports blogging.
Speaking of which, where's Ross Homan? I thought he was a steal?
Has there ever been a time when you're so tired, that the only thing you can do is sleep? Nothing will stop you. Not homework, not class, not something fun. I'm assuming many of you high schoolers are definitely in this bracket.
Yesterday, I could not stay awake. My head was dropping every 5 or so seconds, but the will to sleep was just too overpowering. You know the feeling when you...I don't really know how to say it, in Chinese, I would call it "mi yi xia"...when, you take shut your eyes for 4-5 seconds, and you're essentially in a sleep state. I love that state. You're getting some rest, and all your other senses are heightened. You hear better, but you're also somewhat sleeping. Those 4-5 second "naps" are just wonderful, but waking up from those are brutal. You feel just as tired, even though you managed to buy yourself some time. One thing I also find interesting is how some classes, you just have to sleep, but the period immediately after, you're wide awake. I think this is because you've walked to the other class, so the blood pumping in your system is bringing some life into your body. We should really be allowed to walk around in class, if we start falling asleep, or at least have a bucket of "slurry" or ice water in the back that we can dunk our head in.
Also, maybe it's just me, but there are definite ways I can and cannot sleep. I find that I can't sleep when I want to, and I have to have something preoccupy me, before I can fall asleep. For example, when we have a dorm day or an off day in Viewer, I just want to sleep on the Viewer couch, but I can't. Even when I'm blocking out the ambient sound, I can't fall asleep. It's like the neurons firing in my head are preventing me from sleeping.
Another thing, people say they solve math problems while they are asleep. I can do no such thing. I think when I wake up, I'm so groggy and not alive. Also, the funny thing that I totally believe is that from hours 0-2 after you wake up, you're completely alive, and while you might be sleepy, you can live. Hours 2-4 are the funny part of the day. You can barely stay awake, and you want to sleep any moment you can. I think there's one more time period. Hours 1-2 after lunch. I'M SO SLEEPY.
But yeah, enough ranting about being tired. Homework beckons.
I just wanted to share on something I read over the weekend. Go and search "Girls Just Want to Be Mean" and read the article. It's horrifying and funny at the same time.
When I was reading this article, I think every high school stereotype was mentioned. Wild parties, A-list cliques, and generally ditzy girls. But the more I thought about the article, the less I trusted it. Yes, the article was written in 2002, but some of the observations have to be relevant in our school right?
One thing I noticed, when I talked with my friends, is that as underclassmen, we heard a lot of dirt about upperclassmen. Seems like people were always talking to us about what so-and-so was doing, and how bad it was. But, it seems like, I hear nothing about my own classmates. I don't know if there's some sort of honor code that classmates adhere by, but I find this very interesting. This is what destroys my preconceptions about high school. Maybe it's because being part of the Asian group, that I don't hear about this stuff, or maybe I don't listen for it; I still find this fascinating to know.
Another thing is that I feel these stereotypes have been propagated by entertainment, and we as high schoolers always fall into some random clique-ish stereotype. For example, I'm undoubtedly Asian, and I am part of Asian-related activities, but surprisingly some friends call me the "most non-Asian Asian," something I don't understand. Under the normal stereotype, I should be one of the most Asians right?
Stereotypes annoy me, but sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on the "high school experience" (not that I would really want to be a part of it. This stuff sounds scary.) You have to wonder whether it's just my school, or is this phenomenon evident in other schools?
It's been far too long. And this video is hilarious.
I know people are immature. We've all been in that space, and I think it's a good learning experience. But you can't be immature you're entire life. You're in high school for crying out loud, start acting like someone who's going to participate and add to society. I know you think you're funny and that you seem "cool" by doing what you do, but you aren't.
Respect is the best thing you an give someone. Am I guilty for not following this rule? Of course. But when you reach a stage in life where your actions are blatantly disrespectful, AND you're not at least acknowledging that, learn to grow up. Seriously, YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So before you think it's funny to make a joke during a serious conversation, or make a comment that just isn't called for, think about it first. Rationalize. Please.
Then take action. And be responsible for them.
So, I wanted to touch back on the topic I covered in...I think it was the double post, and I'm too lazy to check.
Music has always been important to me. I documented this in a previous post, about a month back. When I find a new song, or artist, or genre for that matter, I will listen to it 24/7. I'll sleep to it, I'll listen to it at school, and at home while doing homework. I don't care whether it's house, country, Top 40, or Christian, I will listen to it day or night. The process will probably go for about one week, and then I won't be so distracted.
But what happens when you discover a CULTURE? I should probably start from the beginning here.
Back in about, oh, I think August, I started watching MLG. Now you're probably thinking, John, what does gaming have to do with music? I'll get to there in a second. Now with MLG I mainly concentrated on watching Starcraft. I occasionally checked on the COD stream to see how OpTic was doing, but I mainly watched Starcraft. And, I think it was around this time when MLG started inviting Koreans over to play, and I was mesmerized. The Koreans were just...amazing. If you saw the 1 hour plus match between Boxer and Rain, you would understand what I am talking about. That was just turtling on steroids, and just a true massive war. But that first thing helped me become interested in Korean culture. Now, everyone makes jokes about Korean dramas, and I could care less about them (Watch Ryan Higa's video about Korean Dramas, and you'll see what I mean) but over the past weeks or so, I've began to watch their variety shows on YouTube, which I'll admit, are pretty hilarious. Korean culture is a lot like Filipino culture in that their media is based on double- and triple- threat stars. And those stars basically run the media and the TV channels. In Korea, everything is based off the stars there. They MC shows, they are the ones that star in the dramas, and of course, they are the ones that sing.
Now, you've probably found out that I discovered Korean culture. It's pretty funny how it happened. It's amazing at the entertainment empire they have built there. While, admittedly, it's probably not very healthy, the sheer size of it is just...wow. If you look at American bands, there are usually around 3-4 people, with one lead singer. In Korea, groups can be as big as 13 people, and all of these people are experts in dancing and singing. There's a wealth of talent there, and not only that, they take people from all over the world to participate in their entertainment industry. I don't know how they can have so much talent there, but whatever it is, it's gotten me more interested in the Asian entertainment industry. Now, it's not so bad to listen to some Chinese pop songs, whereas before, I would only listen to American stuff. I've been able to broaden my interests. Now, I can listen to music from both Europe and Asia without wincing. I've been tolerant, and I think that this is only the first step. Who knows what else I'll find? I'm hoping that it's not Bollywood.
For me, I've always hated campaigning, especially in YIG. To me, it's always seemed like a popularity contest, and those who are desperate for the "title" are the ones who try to be popular. It's always irked me when someone says "I'm the best blah blah blah" and all I can do is just nod and quietly vote for someone else. In fact, that's kind of why I'm happy I'm part of the delegation steering committee, but not the actual president. Because popularity contests don't really show proficiency. They show desperation. Sometimes, the true leaders aren't the people with the title, but the people that are motivated enough to work without a title. If we really wanted a popularity contest, we would just vote king and queen.
OH..and RIP Steve Jobs, the Edison of our time. You changed my perceptions of Macs. I still don't like everything about them, but I can appreciate them more now.
Recently, I've started listening to a certain group, and can't stop. You know that feeling when you find a GREAT song, and you just put in on repeat? Well, that's exactly what I'm feeling now. I can't help it. The melody is ingrained in my head, and I can visually recreate the music videos. It's like, it's in my head, and it's going to be there for a while.
I don't know how these things happen. For one second, you have no clue what is going on, the next you're essentially a fan. Music can do that. It has the ability to repulse, but then attract as well. I bet there a lot of songs that I would immediately turn off when it came on the radio, but now, it's not so bad. Of course, that doesn't mean I like the song, but it means I can stand it. There are a few songs that I just won't listen to though (ahem Super Bass) so it's like I'm an anti-fan.
It fails to work half the time, and the other half is because I've turned it off and on and then troubleshooted it on my computer. It was working fine 6 months ago, but now it's like a piece of junk.
Of course, this might all be solved if I just connected it to the router, instead of wireless connection.
You know what's funny? When someone takes your idea, and passes it off as their own. It's like intellectual plagiarism. For example, I said something today, you know, just a nice little announcement to tell people something. As soon as I said that, the leader of our group thingy says basically the EXACT same thing. Of course, it was with more force, but still, it was my idea, and that person was usurping the power.
Now, power isn't always the greatest thing. I just read the Lord of the Flies, and that book is all about power being a bad thing, and the struggle for power. And I don't want to get into arguments with people over who has power. But when you blatantly take an idea that was someone else's, and you make it seem your own, when it's completely obvious who was the first to come up with the idea is just infuriating. I can't help but think some people need to be the biggest people in the room. It actually reminds me of a Machinima App commercial. Not the greatest commercial, but funny nonetheless. But back to my point, some people need to be the biggest people in the room, and therefore try to overshadow other's and their accomplishments as well.
We were having a leadership meeting in YIG and I was talking about how one of the bad leaders I knew tended to take all the credit for themselves, but also tried to dodge the blame once things went south. This is just sickening. One of the most important responsibilities of being a leader is being able to take responsibility, whether good or bad. But when it's good responsibility, share the wealth. If it's bad responsibility, take the blame. Sure, you might be sacked, but it's about gaining respect, and doing the right thing. If the only thing you can do is be an egotistical person, what good are you? People need to learn to be less selfish, and more unselfish. Look at politics. Everyone thinks they are right. And everyone else is wrong. See something wrong with this mindset? Our politicians can't even AGREE with each other anymore. We're so egotistical that bartering and walking over the aisle is like equal to getting the Black Plague. JUST SO MUCH RAGE!!!!!
Have you ever thought the reason you couldn't do something was because of lack of information? Or perhaps too much information? I feel that this is a huge problem. When someone doesn't give you information on a project, and expects you to do that project, the end product wouldn't be pretty.
One example of this in my life is college apps. I was hoping the school would put on a seminar, "How to do a college app," but they didn't. Now, my knowledge of the process is limited at best. I've been going along based on how the application looks, and am literally doing it by the seat of my pants. I've had productive talks with my deans, and I am making progress, but it seems like slower than others. I've been confused for most of this process, and I'm just hoping I don't screw up. I'm applying early, and if I mess up this application, what does that mean for the rest of my apps?
Of course, I don't want to be overloaded with large amounts of information. If that happened, I would be just as confused. Sites like College Confidential are get, but sometimes it's just TOO MUCH INFO. Your mind can't process all the information, and the multiple threads just make the entire site a bit more confusing.
So what do I want? I think if someone gave me a roadmap, and provided helpful information along the way would be sufficient. I think this is why I'm looking to my friends for help, since the administration hasn't provided much. But yeah, that's my rant.
Here's some culture. Learn Chinese. It's good for you.
Over-preparation. It sounds like a oxymoron. Can you really ever OVER prepare?
I think in some things, definitely. Take, for example, Science Olympiad.
This year, we're going digital with a lot of the planning. This was for efficiency purposes, and I think it will definitely have a positive impact in how our team is run. Yet, I do worry about this process. If we over prepare, collecting data to no end, and making sure that everything is ready 2 months before the actual competition, does that provide any good things in reality?
Yes, we are prepared for the season, but we also dehumanize the process. Instead of treating people like people, we treat them as numbers, just stats on a sheet. I think this happens a lot, regardless of where you are. People in a hurry will just overlook you as a small thing compared to "more important" jobs. It's like a teacher changing a grade of a student whose parents pester just enough so that's its an annoyance. The justification is that it's one grade, how will it truly impact the life of both the teacher and the student? Obviously, it's more than that, but I digress.
So, the problem with over preparing is that over preparing is the problem. Funny how that works.
Ever feel like you let someone down? Well, I completely felt that feeling last week. I realize I don't exactly have a ton of people who read this, but for some reason, I felt a bit guilty writing only two posts last week.
Missing in Action. It's the worst phrase ever, and not because it's badly worded. It's a depressing thing, to say someone is Missing in Action. It means the person you speak of is probably dead, or if he/she isn't dead, is facing really bad stuff. Of course, last week, me MIA wasn't because I was dead or facing really bad stuff. I just simply had a terrible cold. Yet, I feel I was missing OUT on the action, which is essentially communicating to you about my life. You could probably surmise that I was out with something.
Well, a new week begins, and already it seems like the middle of the week. Last week was horrible, because I was just so sick on my school's newspaper's print night, staying at school until 10 PM, and that probably led to more of me being sick, but this week, I feel like it's already Wednesday. Seriously, what is wrong with my circadian rhythms.
So, in honor of my returning from sickness, I'm going to post a video. FreddieW is hilarious, because he makes a lot of video game references. His most recent one was pretty funny.
Oh, and I'm thinking about posting about HC tomorrow. Comment below or +1 this if you agree.
You know another thing I hate about being sick? When I'm congested, my sinuses plug up, and my hearing decreases by about 50%. Seriously, I'm not kidding.
You know how you can usually hear others when you yourself are talking? Well, I can only hear myself, I can barely hear them. And normal conversations, I know I'm already pretty hard of hearing, but when you can't hear, it's even worse.
One good thing about having a cold is being able to drink chrysanthemum tea and 999 (which is tasty Chinese medicine..I know, it seems like an oxymoron). Add a bit of honey, and you're set.
But being sick really drains your energy. I think yesterday I wanted to sleep the entire day. Usually, I get over that by 3rd period. I did sleep a bit in 1st period, which is an open hour, and read all 2nd period. But I was dead tired by the time Problem Solving came along. Today, not so bad. I was able to stay awake, for most of the day, but by the end, I felt like I needed an energy shot aka 90 minute nap. Those work wonders.
So yeah, I'm still sick, but I'm chugging through.
So, for today's stereotypical nerd post, I'm going to talk about math.
I don't really know what to say here. This topic came about today, because I had successfully programmed a change of base program into my calculator, and then during Physics, absolutely struck out on solving a pretty easy (in hindsight) problem. Sometimes in math, you succeed, and others times, you just crash and burn. I find in fascinating how the "little" things are the stuff that screw you up the most in problem solving. One simple "oh..that's minutes, not seconds" can just provide enough facepalms for a lifetime. And sometimes, that one small thing is the epiphany and leads to you save the world (I wish.).
For example, in my change of base program, there's a lot of logic required, and being able to run through every step of the program in your head can be very infuriating, and confusing at times. I, for some reason, just can't program while, for, and loops in my calculator, so I'm constantly using Goto loops and If then statements. That complicates things a bit, but it does provide me with some fun logic problems.
Overall, I guess what I've learned from doing math, is that, it's a process. It's not something you can figure out in a second, or in a lifetime. It's about having the problem in your subconscious, and methodically hitting that problem with different angles, until the epiphany occurs. And when that happens, math becomes absolutely beautiful and magical.
I don't really feel like posting a video today, so just look up a random Nigahiga video, and call it a day.
Due to lack of thought process today, I present...Gaming.
Now, I wouldn't consider myself a gaming fanboy. Sure, I follow the industry from time to time, I watch MLG occasionally and I'm subscribed on YouTube to several gamers, such as Chris Smoove, and Seananners. I try to know what's the next big thing, and usually read up on magazines. (My favorite is PC Gamer.) But I'm not an uber-fanboy. I don't have an account on the Team Liquid forums, I rarely check Gamespot anymore, and if I do watch gameplay, I do it for the commentaries, not for the actual gameplay.
Which brings me to my ultimate point: gamers aren't stupid.
Let's take one of my favorite YouTubers, Seananners. Be advised, many of these YouTubers do talk about subjects that I don't endorse or agree with. But Seananners is one of my favorite YouTubers because his whole life isn't gaming. Yes, he works for a gaming-based company, Machinima, and he does stream for hours, but he is not an addicted gamer. I like Seananners, because he's a very life-oriented type of person. He's a connoisseur of fine wine, he LOVES to cook, and he likes art. The people at Machinima call him a modern-day Renaissance Man. I watch Seananners, because I love his outlook on life. He's such a chill person, and I enjoy listening to his commentaries on cooking, gaming, and life in general. While I may not agree with everything he says, he does give me a broader picture of life.
I guess it would be appropriate to put a video of Seananners, but honestly, I really don't want to post a commentary of his on here, for the sake of people's boredom. SO....
DCHOI!
Love this song. And DCHOI! And WFP! Who are actually making a video for the Taiwanese pop star, LeeHom.
Hey, if you could, please write your name in the comments. I'd like to know who's speaking, and "Anonymous" doesn't really give me a good description of who you are. Of course, if you would like to remain "Anonymous" that's ok too. I just want to get a grasp of who's reading my stuff, and commenting on it.
Today, my friends and I had some pretty interesting discussion on free will, and I've been thinking about that for the past few hours. What is the meaning of free will, and can people truly have it?
When you think of free will, you imagine a person who can make whatever choices they want. They are independent, and are responsible for what goes on in their own life. Their "will" is completely unconstrained, and through that, their other aspects, like their mind, is also "free." The problem with this conception of free will is that every single little thought they have would have to be original, without any outside influence, much like what I described in my Worldview post. This, of course, is impossible. There is absolutely no way that one person could have only completely original thoughts. Even a person in isolation is impacted by the things around them, or things remembered from a bygone time. In fact, this definition of free will is a bit scary. You essentially aren't allowed to have friends, or contact with anyone. From the time you are born to your death, you would have to be in complete isolation, and even though, you could be impacted by the outside world.
So therefore, free will is really impossible. Whatever you do, is somewhat influenced by someone or something. It's impossible to prevent that. You may have some semblance of control over your life, and your own decisions, but the decisions you make are based on influences around you. Your environment constrains your will; you are only partially free.
This is where my faith comes in.
God gives everyone "free will" from the beginning. This "free will" allows a person to decide for themselves what choices they make. It does not mean that their every thought is original or that they are not influenced. People are simply able to make choices. Now, this "free will" is still very easily influenced. Men are weak; there is no doubt about this. It only takes one phrase to drastically change our minds. In fact, our "free will" isn't really free at all. You see, if you're not with God, you're "in the world," and essentially, your "free will" is being controlled by the Enemy. You may think you have free will, but that's only because the Enemy is giving you that illusion of control, of power.
But you're probably thinking, "Well, ok, what if I want my free will. Does that mean I go with God?" No. In my understanding, God gives us free will to choose between Him and the world. But that's as far as your free will can go. If you choose the world, your "free will" will be heavily influenced by the world. You may think you have "free will" but you don't.
Under God, you still have free will. You can choose to do God's Will or not, it's completely your decision. But, if you are truly in Christ, your will becomes God's Will. Your desire for free will is decreased, because soon, it's not you who is living, but rather God living through you.
I'm sorry if that's not what you were expecting from this post, but I think talking about this definitely helps myself. I'm able to reflect, and grow even more from these experiences. Now, just a fair warning. I don't know if my description of free will is completely "accurate", but it's what in my heart, and what I wanted to share.
Now for a YouTube video. This is an absolute classic, and I love this song. It's by my favorite band, Casting Crowns.
I hope this song encourages you as much as it encourages me.
Right now in our Psych through Lit class, we're doing an assignment called the "Worldview Journal," where we explain our worldview, and attempt to justify it. Now, I don't know if it's just me, but I've always come under the impression that people expect your worldview to be "you", like your worldview is completely of your own thought and no outside influences have changed it.
Even if that isn't the correct definition, some people do feel that all your thoughts must be independently generated, and that somehow, outside influences taint your thinking process. Seriously, what's wrong with following your parents, or friends if what they are doing is justifiable in your head. It's not "brainwashing." As far as I'm concerned, my parents have generally allowed me to be pretty independent. Do they try to influence me? Yes, of course. As parents, it's a part of their job. But me being independent doesn't mean I don't listen to a word they say. In fact, most of the times I do, and I agree with them. My thoughts of right and wrong, life, and my environment have all been shaped by my parents, and I turn try to impart my own influences on people around me. Essentially, my worldview is my parents' worldview, and I find nothing wrong with that.
Some people feel that if you're anything like your parents, you were obviously brainwashed at an early age. I don't know if this is something I'm imagining this, but it seems like that in some situations. And the phrase "peer pressure" always has negative connotations. There is POSITIVE peer pressure. Telling your friends not to drink. Forcing your friends to do homework. These are examples of positive peer pressure, but no one every thinks of these. Peer pressure comes with the idea that your friends are influencing you to do something bad, and that's just not how it works. Our society looks down on peer pressure, because everyone is expected to be independent, and have their own moral compass, no matter how skewed it is. Sometimes, being under the influence of another is a good thing. For example, take apprentices. For years, they are under the "influence" of a craftsmaster, who imparts with them skills, and traits that hopefully the apprentice will take on. Now, the apprentice is free to disregard these lessons, or he can accept these influences, and apply them to his own life. Is that such a bad thing? I don't think so.
New YOUTUBE video. This song is just so awesome.
I hope these blogs are just as entertaining for you to read as they are for me to write.
Every had that experience when nothing is going right? And then all of a sudden, it just works. Well, life is nothing like that. It definitely seems like that, but most of the time, it's a result of a buildup of progress, which of course, in the hustle and bustle you don't notice AT ALL. Sometimes, we're so hyped up about the big picture that we fail to even care about the small things, the things that make it work. For example, take a football play. It's a Hail Mary pass, and the quarterback makes a magical throw to a wide receiver who enters the end zone with no one in sight. Sure, you might think that the quarterback was just amazing, and the wide receiver turned on his jets right after catching the ball. But what you didn't see was the amazing pass protection by the left tackle, the key block by the running back on the trailing safety, and that the tight end had set a perfect screen on the linebacker about to the tip the pass. In the life, it's always about the small things. Magic doesn't happen. Even with chemical reactions, which may seem instantaneous, have to go through steps.
Why am I referencing this? Well, a combination of things. Today, I was working with Viewer, and it seemed like everything was chaotic. Stories weren't turned in, and editors were confused where their writers were. But, it seemed like in a second, everything was quiet. We had a majority of stories, and editors were busy editing. Now, this didn't happen in a second. No one waved their magic wand, and all of a sudden everything was in order. What involved was writers seeking out editors for help, editors looking for writers, and a gradual decrease from chaos to order. WE DEFEATED ENTROPY!! (All you chem people should be laughing now.)
Another thing that's making me write this is the fact that I'm listening to Taylor Swift, because I have nothing else better to stream on Spotify. Seriously, if you have suggestions, please comment. I'm getting bored. But, back to topic, with her songs, it's very sudden, and instantaneous. Sure, there is some buildup in her song content, but from what I'm listening, the buildup is almost nonexistent, and then all of sudden, we have a climax. While we would like to imagine that life is like that, unfortunately, it is nowhere near to that. Sorry, if I destroyed a few dreams back there.
Again, comments are welcome.
Now for your YouTube awesomeness for the day.
She is awesome. I don't care much for Sam's voice, but Christina's is what makes this song amazing.
Something that's irritating to a lot of people is the lack of control, the in ability to have things your way. It's perfectly understandable; we like power, and so we like to be in control of whatever situation we're in.
But like I described in my previous post, sometimes, that limited perspective really opens up more opportunities to participate in certain situations. By not being in control, it allows oneself to not be caught up in making every comments, or doing every action, but rather responding to others, and contributing, rather than controlling. It amazing how many interesting ideas you can come up with while listening to others. I'm not saying having control is bad; sometimes you need to be a leader. But there are certain situations in which you just need to relax, and let others take the reins. It's kind of like what we're discussing in my Psych through Lit class; narcissism is when you think the world revolves around you. That the danger of being in control. You completely disregard others and in that way, slowly destroy the relationships around you.
Of course, it's hard to lose control. You have to be able to lose control for something you deeply care about. For example, one thing I learned while at a Summer Youth Conference was a bondservant is willing to lose control, and become bonded to his master, because he loves the master. Likewise, we can voluntarily lose control of maybe a school project, because we understand that the project will do a lot better if not under our control. And with this control, I'm not talking about being aloof, and not caring about it, but rather, not maintaining a dictatorship over the progress of the project. In this way, the project would flourish, because suddenly, there is a new flux of ideas coming in from other sources, other than yourself.
Well, nothing really awesome happened in school today.
Actually, I did help a friend with a HC proposal. I think one of the things I've learned over the years, is how funny it is to be a third person. To not be directly involved, and yet be directly involved, sort of like a third-person omniscient type of writing POV. To me, it's enjoyable to see both sides of a story, to be able to relate to both sides, and understand the weaknesses and strengths of both sides. Not to be mean or anything, but it's always an interesting thing to hear about what other people think about other people, and to really understand the underlying tension and relationships between two parties. I guess that's one downfall of a third-person omniscient POV. Thankfully, it's a limited third-person omniscient POV.
Well, seeing as I'm not even really writing about the topic, I guess I'll start now.
Music is one thing I think everyone can bond around. I think that's really how I bond with some of my friends, through music. I have a friend who constantly is introducing to me new music. Before I launch into a story, I'll describe my music tastes. I'm really all over the board; I listen to Christian contemporary, Top 40, some techno/dubstep, and classical. To me, listening to Casting Crowns, my favorite band, is easily as enjoyable as listening to say, Taylor Swift. I think my musical tastes are really shaped by this one friend, who basically introduced me to everything beyond Christian contemporary. Before, I used to only listen to Christian contemporary. I lived off Casting Crowns, the Newsboys, and other great artists and bands that I still listen too. Then, I was given a taste of Tobymac, who was simply amazing. I really only liked one song that had some rap elements before (Matthew West's Next Thing you Know), but Tobymac was completely different. Simply said, he was amazing. Songs like Jesus Freak and Burn for You to me were just so awesome. Before, the Christian radio station I listened to you had this "Alternative Christian Music" hour at around midnight at 12, and occasionally, I would listen, but really wouldn't get into it. But after listening to some TobyMac songs, and some of the songs from WOW CD's, I really started to appreciate the stuff from the hip-hop Christian scene.
Then came Eminem. Talk about a culture shock. At that point in my music walk, I was listening to Christian contemporary, and Radio Disney. Radio Disney was funny, because having sisters forces you to enjoy their tastes. So I was always listening to the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana and High School Musical songs. But Eminem was just completely different. Listening to a person who has the capacity to swear in every single line, and yet bring out a message that truly can be inspiring was just...an experience. Do I like Eminem? Yes, he's fantastic. Do I agree with everything he says or does? Of course not. I would appreciate it if he stopped swearing, but I guess that's who he is.
I know this is getting long, but bear with me.
Now, my next step was into electronica/techno/dubstep. At first, I thought dubstep was ANNOYING. Seriously, the bass and all that stuff was just...bleh. But after listening to some dubstep that had really good melodies, I learned to take the good with the bad, and just enjoy the talent. Now, I'm listening to Avicii, some Skrillex, and a LOT of remixes of Top 40. I don't necessarily seek out this music, but when it comes to me, I'll listen to it.
With that said, I continue my YouTube video streak by offering one of the greatest songs I have heard in the last few months, also courtesy of my friend.
Oh, and if you could, please answer the poll on the side. It's just something I was thinking about, and my friends were discussing.
As you can probably already tell, this post will be about football.
I AM EXCITED! Why? Well, many reasons. First and foremost, Aaron Rodgers is my starting quarterback on my fantasy team, which at least guarantees me a lead for 2 days in my matchup. Second, my beloved, yet much maligned, new-look Vikings are sure to provide for some interesting football this season. After all the drama we've been through, it's nice to have some stability for the incoming season. Finally, Peyton Manning. As much as I would like to laugh at the people who drafted him, that would be mean. But, I will reference that he is not out of the season. Hopefully he'll come back in time to help the Colts.
On that note, I leave you with an amazing song.
Also, I know this comment will come back to haunt me later, but I wish I had some homework to do. I'm getting bored quick. Thank goodness for Problem Solving class.
The word "end" usually has a bad connotation, like death. The "end' signifies a sort of finality, like there's no more to look forward to. But, is the end truly all that bad? For example, the end of high school signifies (hopefully) a new step, like a maturation process. You're an adult now. Sure, that comes with some pretty scary thoughts, but it is bad? An end, in a sense, allows us to "start over." Of course, the end of high school also signifies the end of childhood, and all the fun things that come with it.
The fact that this is the "beginning of the end" is slightly ominous. We are beginning to get closer to the end, and that thought that every single day is bringing us even closer to an end, that maybe we're looking forward to. Yet, the word "beginning" also lends a good connotation, like turning over a new leaf. The beginning of the school year, to me, signifies a new Science Olympiad season, for example. That definitely something to be happy about.
The the beginning of the end produces really mixed feelings. On one hand, you're happy, because it's a new year and all that. But on the other, you're sad, because it's the last year.
Well, today marked the end of the first day of school--for the freshmen, that is. Now, I participate as a mentor for the freshmen, and one thing I find just a slight bit irritating is when you ask someone to participate, and they don't. Now, I've definitely been on the other side of this equation; I am completely at fault. Yet, the problem is as a senior, I feel that I have to give some helpful advice to the freshmen, some words that will completely change their lives forever. Now, I know that's not possible, but it would be nice to know that someone is at least attempting to listen to what you have to say. Do I feel that I failed as a mentor? Slightly, because I don't think my message was getting across. But, on the other hand, I don't feel that I'm entirely at fault, simply because I understand what's going on the other side, having been there myself.
But let's be honest. It is the first day of school, and the only thing a kid can think about is when school is over. It's an age old rule. Yet, if they gave us just a minuscule amount of time, a minute perhaps, I think my fellow mentors and I could impart just one wise sentence. Just one. I know it's a dream scenario, that one sentence can change a person's life, but it's nice to imagine, and sometimes, you just need to imagine, to reach reality.
So what did I learn today? I guess, it's important to listen, because you just might hear the next greatest thing.
