Hello traveler! You have stumbled upon my blog! So what is this you ask? Essentially, it could be called many things, but I refer to it as a Senior Experiment/Experience/Project. I plan to document my entire senior year through blogs. Let's hope this works.
So, this past week, how hard has it been to live without Facebook?
Very hard, yet very easy.
Without Facebook, I'm very disconnected from my school and my friends. I didn't know what was going on in our math team forum, or what my friends had been talking about. I actually logged on for about 3 seconds to check the name of a source for a story I was writing, and saw that I had 20 notifications. Did I check them? No. But it did interest me that there were 20 things, of which, maybe 4 or 5 were somewhat valuable.
But it was also very easy. Not having to click back to Facebook every 5 minutes to check something new was a nice change. I didn't have to worry too much. And I was able to busy myself with other things (such as MW3 and AC:R walkthroughs. Greatest movies ever!) Will I not use Facebook from now on? No. But will I check it less? Yes.
And that, I think is the best experience.
For all my nerd friends out there. This song is so hilarious. I remember listening to it the first time when it first came out, and having a huge smile on my face.
Speaking of which, I can't believe I missed MLG Providence. ARGH.
I'm not doing a complete Digital Detox, which should be obvious due to the fact that I'm writing this right now. I'm only going on a Facebook Detox, which by itself, is still a pretty interesting task.
So, what did I think about my first day without Facebook? It was weird. I feel so disconnected from everyone. I can't go online and talk to friends about something I want to clarify. I don't know if something weird happened at school today (especially because I wasn't there). I can't go online and just read up on what people are saying on the groups I'm a part.
It just shows how connected we are to one website. One example is this. I'm currently compiling a list of nicknames for our math team shirt. In order to do this, I created a Google Docs link and posted it on our math team forum. Then I told people to post the same link on Facebook, since I couldn't by myself. Then, people started asking questions on FB, and of course, I couldn't respond to them, mainly because I never knew they existed. Then, my friend had to relay those questions to me, so I could respond to them, and then I relayed the answers back to the puzzled few.
Also, today I was at the NHSPA Convention for an Online Bootcamp workshop. Now, normally when I'm taking notes with my laptop, I usually have a few links open: Gmail, Facebook, CNN, GDocs, etc. This time, without Facebook, even though it was during school hours, I felt different. There was no constant checking to see if one of the things I "liked" had an update of any sorts. Also, because everyone around me was on Facebook, it was hard to not think of logging on.
Finally, today, after coming home, I started working on my homework. Now, I don't have ADD (at least I don't think so) but I tend to like clicking through links every 15 minutes or so, just to get my mind off homework and see what's going on in the world. I look through email, CNN, sports, and usually Facebook. This goes back to my first point, where I felt disconnected. I knew about everything in the world, except for what happened at my own school. That feeling of disconnection really was surprising. I knew initially that I wouldn't be able to know a lot about what my friends were doing, but now, it finally hit me how much information I glean from Facebook.
Is it a good thing? To have all the information you need on Facebook? I don't know. In one way, it's definitely convenient to have everything in one place. On the other hand, it's bad because you are basically disconnected from knowing about your friends and the society around you. Only six more days to go.
This video, I would appreciate if you didn't watch, and instead just listen. This is a clear example of a song that I have mixed feelings about. It starts out great, and has some great parts in the middle, but all the other parts just ruin the song. I like how it starts with a great vocal, but then abruptly descends into a dance type of song. Also, don't watch the video because it makes absolutely NO SENSE. It's just horrible. I can't even begin to describe how horrible the music video is.
Well, it's back. And it's coming with teeth. And a chainsaw. Such a weird combo of metaphors.
Actually, this relates to my Psych Thru Lit class, which surprisingly is becoming one of my favorite classes. It's awesome how it's a multidisciplinary class, but still keeps me awake (seeing as I'm not really into English or Psych.) But, today, we talked about the "Slow" Movement, which emphasizes that our world is too fast. We want instant gratification and all that stuff. Read my older post for more enlightenment.
But basically, our teacher is offering us EC for taking part in a Digital Detox, where we give up something.
I'm planning to give up FB, but am planning to document this experience on my blog. (IRONY).
So maybe it's not a complete Detox, but I think getting rid of the most important social network in my life will definitely be interesting. Yeah, I'll still be connected through email, this blog, and (gulp) Moodle, but I think just getting rid of FB by itself will definitely be an experience to think (and write) about. Maybe I should try writing a novel in the free time I have. After all, it's NaNoWriMo, something I've always wanted to do. Or maybe I'll read the first three books in the Eragon series again. Need something to do before I read Inheritance, right?
Anyway, I just thought I'd put this as a heads up.
This kid is amazing. Not to mention, he has a boss instrument. The song is decent too. WHY SO MUCH KPOP??
If you remember yesterday's post, I posted a song called "Ugly" by 2NE1, which was covered by Megan Lee.
That song got me thinking about us, as people, and how we tend to fixate on the things that make us inadequate. We always have phrases like, "I wish I could be more talented in XYZ" or "Wow, I wish I was like XYZ." I know for certain that I have had this mindset before.
We always want to be better. We have dreams and goals that we want to attain. But why? Why such a fixation on becoming "the best"? Can't we as people accept ourselves for who we are? We do we have to go all this "junk" in order to become the best? In school, for example, people work themselves to death to get good grades. Why? So they can be "the smartest." In sports, people overwork themselves to the point that when they reach their max, they collapse. They can't function anymore. In music, artists have to get throat surgery, because they practice too much. Why do we always push ourselves past the limit, in order to become better?
Now, I'm not railing against dreams. Dreams are what make us push forward, and help us become better people. But there has to be a point when dreams turn into rabid mindsets. That can't happen. As a Christian, I need to accept the fact that God made me this way. Does that mean I don't try to be a better student? No, of course not. Does this mean I don't try to break 6 minutes for the mile (which mind you is still a pretty pathetic time)? No. But it means that I don't need to overwork myself for such a meaningless goal of "smartest student."
That being said, let me tell you my dreams.
Dream 1: I want to be a better singer.
Why? Well, it's actually related to my fear of appearing in public. I HATE public speaking. That doesn't mean I won't do it, but it's an experience that always brings my anxiety level up to 11. I've spoken at the YIG closing convention. THAT was scary. Talking to 1700 people at once is something that you can't really know until you've tried. But, that experience was just as scary as talking to my AP Lang class of 20 people. My knees were shaking, and I tried to mask my nervousness by talking softly, moving around, and occasionally talking loudly to get rid of my jitters. I think my talking softly actually helped the speech, surprisingly, because it became a lot more emotional for me.
So how does public speaking relate? Well, I can't sing in public. I can sing in a group at church, or when having fun with friends. (You've never sung Phantom of the Opera until you've sung it while dissecting a pig.) But, when I sing solo, I simply can't. My voice cracks, and I just can't get the words out. Funny story, when I recorded a podcast with my friend, and we were supposed to be singing a song, I couldn't sing it well, because he was in the room with me. I get very self-conscious about myself when singing, and because of that, I couldn't sing with one person in the room--despite the fact that this podcast was going out to the whole world!
So yeah, that's dream number 1.
Dream 2: Being perfect.
Now, this is going to be borderline satirical but bear with me.
I do a lot of activities. Piano, Math Team, Science Olympiad, Quiz Bowl, etc. In all of these activities, there is one similarity: the possibility of mistake. In piano, I hate practicing, because that's when I find my mistakes. In Math Team, I get super nervous during competition, because I think I'm going to make a mistake. I sweat A LOT during Science Olympiad events, because I'm always nervous I'm going to screw up. In Quiz Bowl, I sometimes won't press the buzzer because I'm afraid of being wrong.
I want to be perfect, so I don't have to go through that. And of course, that's an impossible dream.
Perfection is really a dumb thing. No person in our society is perfect. It's just not going to happen. You try all you want. LeBron James still misses shots. Obama still messes up on some speeches. Teachers make mistakes all the time.
Basically, in my opinion, being perfect means being able to accept who you are, faults and all. It's about knowing that, despite your mistakes, you're doing the best you can. If you have never heard P!nk's song "Perfect", you should. Although try to find the clean version.
So that's all I wanted to say. Actually, one more thing. Back to the topic of smart people. I was talking to my friend today about a math competition we had. He remarked how cool it would be to meet all the people ranked above us, but I adamantly said no. My reason? I would feel inadequate next to them. And seriously, who wouldn't? When you meet a guy who's IQ is probably 2x yours, who wouldn't feel slightly dissatisfied with their own self?
Something to think about.
Now, for a video, I'm going back to Jimmy Wong. Who is a boss. And this song is great. You should also listen to the club mix. It's great too.
Not to mention an amazing movie. You know what? That's dream number 3. Make amazing movies.
Disclaimer: I don't actually own MW3 or SC2. I just choose to comment on it, by watching the Machinima LiveStream. Which is awesome. Although WAY too much swearing.
There's a company I extremely dislike right now. Its name is ActivisionBlizzard. Why do you ask? Well because, ActiBlizz is in it for the money. Now, I know all businesses are in it for the money, but ActiBlizz is IN IT FOR THE MONEY.
Exhibit A: Please examine Modern Warfare 2. Great game, IMHO. I loved it, and still play it occasionally. Black Ops comes one year after, and sets the bar even higher. I really liked that it was different that MW2, and yet also different than the previous Treyarch title, World at War. Being able to unlock what gun you wanted based on in-game money, rather than levels was genius. One year after (two after MW2 if you're wondering) comes Modern Warfare 3. Now, I haven't seen any of the campaign yet, but right now, looking at the multiplayer, it's basically looks like DLC. The font is the same, the little icons are the same. Sure, there's some gameplay changes. Pointstreaks are a genius idea, and I think not having the nuke (or MOAB) end the game is also very smart. But I don't appreciate the fact that MW3 looks and probably feels exactly like MW2. Nothing has changed in multiplayer (although I would be excited to look at the new horde mode). The guns may look different, the maps may be different, the perks may be a bit different, but essentially, MW3 is DLC. It's not a new game. And it's definitely not worth the $60 people are paying for it.
Exhibit B: COD Elite. $50. It's not a game. 'Nuff said.
Exhibit C: Starcraft II. Oh my goodness. Now, this is definitely a object of contention for me. In case you haven't heard, Starcraft II is split into 3 games: Wings of Liberty (which focuses on the Terran campaign), Heart of the Swarm (which focuses on the Zerg campaign) and Legacy of the Void (which focuses on the Protoss campaign). Now, each of these games will be sold for $50-$60 depending where you buy them. Also, only WoL is out. HotS is planned to be out in April next year, and who knows when LotV is coming out. I mean it's Blizzard. They took 13 years after SC1 to bring out SC2. This is where I'm mad. If I bought all the games (which I'm probably not going to) it would cost me minimum $200. What do I get? 3 (deep) campaigns, and 1 multiplayer experience. Now, in my head, HotS and LotV are considered expansion packs. All I'm really getting from those two games are two new campaigns. I'm not getting a new multiplayer experience. So, in reality, they should be priced at $30 at most, because I'm not getting two modes, I'm only getting one.
This is what makes me mad about the game industry. They claim they would take a loss if they sold games less than $50. Really? Then please explain the Madden and 2K war, when prices dipped down to $20. As far as I can tell, neither company lost money. The only reasons prices are higher now, are because EA has an exclusive contract, so basically it can sell at whatever price it wants. Game makers should be willing to let US, the consumer, at least not bear such a difficult burden. Do we get a lot of utility? Depends. I certainly haven't from Supreme Commander 2 and Empire: Total War. (I should probably play those more often, but they just aren't that fun right now.) Did I get utility from MW2? Yes. But I still think that $60 is way to much for a video game.
Edit: I almost forgot! Youtube video time!
Read Megan's translation of the lyrics in the description. I think we face these types of feelings all the times, maybe it's not beauty, but it could also be smarts, musical talents, etc. Bottom line: this song makes you think.
Also, I wish I had talent like Megan. (IRONY.) She is such an amazing singer.
One thing I really hate about technology is loading times. Right now, I'm converting an .avi file to mp4...and the thing is going to take half an hour. So I'm actually typing this to pass the time. I guess it could be worse.
I know things aren't instant. If they were, what would be the point of life? We would just go through things and have them immediately resolve themselves, and go onto the next thing. Being able to wait is a good thing.
I was talking to my mom earlier this week, and we were talking about having "quiet time," something that I definitely don't have enough of. I don't think it's because I don't have time, but maybe because I feel I need to be doing something all the time. It's kinda like my APM in life has to always be at the max. (All you SC2/RTS nerds should be laughing about....now.)
And it's funny, because I'm writing this on the night of Daylight Savings Off day (or is it on?). Basically, we'll get an extra hour to sleep tonight. In theory. So, if we had that extra hour, what would we do with it? How would we use it, and would it be considered useful? For me, I'm not too sure.
I just won an assassination game on Scioly.org that took almost two months to finish. I can't believe I stayed with it that long, and by the end you could tell I just wasn't in it. Instead of posting on time, I usually waited 12 hours or another day longer to post. I was just getting so tired that I couldn't focus.
A good example of this is this past week, I've been watching the Uncharted 3 Walkthroughs on YouTube. Now, it's not because I'm going to buy the game, and want to see how to beat it, but rather I like watching gameplay. Also, Uncharted has a great storyline, so I'm basically watching a 5 hour long movie. Now, usually, I would go on Wikipedia and read the synopsis of the plot, just so I'm not too confused when I watch. I attribute this to impatience; I don't want to be surprised by plot twists. But this time, I didn't, because I wanted to be surprised. It was definitely confusing at some points, but it turned out to be a rewarding experience.
So that's about it, I guess.
Speaking about patience, let's get the NBA lockout solved already. While I don't really care about the NBA right now (it's hard to when your home team is absolutely terrible), it would be nice to have something to read about on the sports pages.
I was thinking up K-pop related puns today. Some of these may be borrowed from others, but hey, they are still funny.
I'm listening to f(x) while doing math.
I'm studying physics while listening to BIGBANG. (the only thing even more ironic would be if BBT was on TV.)
I'm eating lamb while listening to "Bo Peep Bo Peep." (Ok, that's just bad taste. :D)
I'm watching Peter Pan, while listening to "Neverland." (That's actually a really bad one.)
I was evicted from my apartment, while listening to "Get Out" by JYJ.
I was listening to 4minute when I ran my mile. (What up!!!)
And that's it. I'm really bored, aren't I?
Honestly, this song reminds me of American music. Like "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha. I do like Tiffany's version more than Krystal's original version. But, I'll take both anyday.
